I’ve won the same amount of Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio. Wow.
i lost my virginity inside the night club on club penguin
"omg girls my crush is coming"
"what should we do"
"just act normal"
if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
did you just call Smaug a slut